Thanks for Understanding

Grief: deep sorrow, especially caused by someone’s death.

Six years ago, I had the privilege of closing our family reunion with the following devotional thought:

Public speaking is really not my thing, I am more of a behind the scenes person.  Let’s pray! I have been having a rough time coming up with a message. So, I waited to hear everyone else’s message in hopes to tie them altogether but I missed several of them for various reasons. Then Evelyn’s dynamic message really discouraged me from wanting to speak.  Friday evening before the sunset, my family and I went to Walmart to make sure we had breakfast for my son. The first time we went in the wrong direction, then we got back on track, took the right exit but didn’t go down far enough and got right back on the highway. As we were driving yet again in the wrong direction, one of the girls said, “Mommy look a rainbow!”  I quickly whipped out my phone to take a picture.  I started snapping away and then opened my notes app because instantly the words “he will never leave us nor forsake us” popped into my head. But that was a far as I got.  

 Yesterday afternoon I was sitting in the lobby so I could gather my thoughts for my worship thought. Lorice came over spoke about my dilemma and she began to encourage me…He will never leave us nor forsake us. I spoke to Diane after vespers and she also encouraged me and said that I would be alright…He will never leave us nor forsake us.  If we look around we see ALL of the family members that God has blessed us with. We should be rest assured that his presence will never leave us even when we are feeling down, discouraged, when we procrastinate, even when we neglect him. He is still there letting us know…I’M HERE! He gave us such a strong, stable, God fearing family on which we can call on when things get tough.  Not very many people have the type of bond that the Fordham-Wagner Family have and we are truly blessed. When we leave here let’s not forget one another and just catch up in another two years. Let’s try to stay in constant contact with God and with one another and remember God put us in this family for a divine purpose. We must always remember that God will never leave us nor forsake us.                (Written July 30, 2011)

Correlation: a mutual relationship or connection between two or more things.

Who knew that the following day, life as I had known it…would forever be altered.

“So sad to see you go so soon

I know that you ain’t coming back

Every minute you’re gone

I’m missing you so

I can’t believe that you’re far away

Can’t get you out of my mind” 

~ Marsha Ambrosius (Far Away)


Since the loss of my brother in 2011, I haven’t given attending Family Reunion a second thought…it’s just too hard. I’ve correlated it with losing my brother, my first best friend.  Please know that I love each of dearly but this time 6 years ago, I still had a brother.  The days leading to the anniversary of his death, are the hardest for me.  I feel like God did forsake me and Family Reunion is a constant reminder of my loss.  Some may say I’m being selfish.  Sorry, not sorry…I’m still grieving.  The pressure of grief comes and goes. I must allow myself this time to grieve.

Thanks for understanding.


You’ve been Robbed

As I begin to write this, portions of Playa Hater by Notorious BIG come to mind ~

Playa, turn your head round/Lay on the ground, you’ve been robbed/Wake up, open the door/Lay on the floor, you’ve been robbed.

In light of everything that happened yesterday…this morning WPGC 95.5 asked callers what was the worst thing they’ve done during/after a breakup.

Just in case you were under a rock or something and missed yesterday’s SOCIAL MEDIA DEBACLE…Rob Kardashian took to Instagram and posted nude pictures of Blac Chyna (the mother of his child), their text messages and the like.  In his rants, he told of her affairs with other men while they were together, told how much money he spent on her “bounce back” body (after the baby), and outed another couple that had a threesome with her…Blac Chyna.

All that being said, breaking up is NOT easy. However, there are ways to come out with your head held high.  With that being said, please keep in mind that Rob K. is known to deal with depression and I believe that his “outburst” was his way of dealing with the issues at hand.

We’ve all dealt with breakups and I’m sure some of us have done somethings we aren’t so proud to own up to.

So, as I was listening to WPGC 95.5 this morning…I thought about myself and my many break ups (dating and marriage) and how I’ve dealt them.

Elle after a breakup:

  1.  I’m not slashing your tires.
  2. I’m not gonna go after the new chick.
  3. I’m not calling him (ex) or her (new chick).
  4. I’m NOT freezing accounts.
  5. I’m not gonna be on the run cuz I lost my shit!


  1.  Contemplate several petty get backs but never follow through.
  2.  LOVE ME!
  3.  Seek counseling for self.
  4.  Smile and laugh cuz he lost.
  5.  *I’LL WAIT FOR IT* If he cheated on ME..he will do the same to the next.
  6.  Encourage those that have been through similar situations. (DON’T GIVE UP!)
  7.  DELETE pictures of us on social media.

When one makes the decision to step outside of their marriage/relationship and destroy their family just to lie down with a “new body”…he/she doesn’t love him/herself.  Destroying a relationship has a huge impact not only on the two people involved but also those around them.  Often times, those that aren’t in the relationship are hurt the most. #sadderday  Seeking to destroy the person that has hurt you, won’t just hurt that person.  TREAD CAREFULLY!

Don’t rob yourself of your freedom from the toxic person that sought to destroy you via their “low self-esteem” and lack of commitment.  You are worth maintaining your dignity.


~ Playa, turn your head round/Take off that crown, you’ve been robbed/Wake up, open the door/ Don’t cry no more, you’ve been robbed/ Lay on the floor, you’ve been robbed/ Wake up (wake your ass up), take off your jewels/You fuckin fools, you’ve been robbed (this is a ROBBERY)! ~ The Notorious B.I.G. – Playa Hater (Life After Death)