Tossing and turning
Breaking into a cold sweat
Body ignites and sleep is broken
Hands fumble upon my phone
Glance at the phone to open…
I wish I hadn’t woken up
I wish I hadn’t picked up my phone
I wish I were back home
I wish these things would just stop…
I wish I had the power to take the hurt away
I wish I could run outside and scream
I wish no one would hear me
I wish I could cry,
But I’m afraid
If I start
I won’t stop!
What do you do it for? What are you running for? What are you running towards? What are you trying to prove? What do you got to lose? What is the path you choose?
~ Ascension by Jhené Aiko
ascension – the act of rising to an important position or a higher level
To ascend one has to come face to face with SELF and life experiences. Life offers many ups and downs. One must open themselves up to reality, in order to deal with what is really causing the pain or anxiety. One has to dig deep, listen to, and focus on one’s self. Dedicating this kind of time and energy to discover and possibly face the hurt again. This process may break you but will be worth it in the end. This journey is not an easy one by any means. This journey is going to require a lot of effort and hard work.
Why would one have to dig in order to ascend? Getting to the root of the problem is what is going to allow the healing process to begin, hence ascension.
Letting go of the past or letting go of things/people that no longer serve you along your journey…must go. Unfortunately, that may mean family members, friendships, significant others, unhealthy thoughts, or anything toxic.
I’ve lost so much in this life that I’ve gotten to a place where I have begun to feel a numbing sensation. In order to ascend I must allow myself to feel the hurt. I’ll allow it! It’s time to ASCEND!