This Little Light of Mine

This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine!  Won’t let ____ blow it out.  I’m gonna let it shine!

Do y’all remember that song?  It was a childhood and Pine Forge Academy favorite. At the Forge, we’d be singing that song and clapping like we were singing at a major gospel concert.  Well, some WERE part of Lloyd Mallory’s Pine Forge Choir…the best choir on this planet!  HANDS DOWN! 

Anyway, back to the song…”This Little Light of Mine”! Christians are taught to let their light shine in order to attract those that are in the dark.  Christian by definition is an individual whose behavior and heart reflect Jesus Christ aka “THE LIGHT”. John 14:6, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” 

Soooooo…

The goal of being a “Christian” is to be the light of the world. However, how can a “Christian” bring a lost individual into the light, if their light is dim? Let’s talk about it! 🤯

I was born and raised in the Seventh-day Adventist Church. Therefore, I attended church, church school, multiple church services through the week, and eventually worked for the church. Sixteen of the twenty-one years that I worked in the Education System was for the Adventist Church.  During my sixteen years in the Adventist sector, I began to question whether or not Adventists were actually in the business of bringing people to Christ.

I experienced and observed individuals with dim lights, knowingly and unknowingly extinguish the light of others.  You’re probably wondering what I mean by that. Well, the Adventist System had one of the GREATEST Principals to walk the halls of one of its schools and love on its students…Ms. Q!  Ms. Q was a warrior for those children…ALL OF THE CHILDREN.  Whether they were Adventist or not, she loved them unconditionally and went to war for them on many occasions.  Some of y’all may or may not know that she was CONSTANTLY under fire for her “antics” as a Principal.  That didn’t stop her, as she knew that her students deserved and were capable of greatness.  

However, there were church members who weren’t fond of her and the non-Adventist students and wanted so badly to drive them and the school out of the church edifice. Hmmmm! Quite interesting especially since the school is the “feeder” for the church. 🤔

Example: If a student accepts Jesus as his/her personal Savior due to the “light” being shown to them at school, more than likely his/her parents will get baptized and join the church. Hence, the school being a feeder for the church. I’ve seen this happen on several occasions. 

This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine but au contraire… 

I have experienced and observed some of the most unkind behaviors from Adventists. Yeah, I know we are all human and aren’t perfect, but aren’t Christians SUPPOSED to be a reflection of Christ?  

I left the church because my light had become dim. Imagine a well lit candle. Now take a jar and place it over the well lit candle. What happens to that candle? The jar extinguishes the light! Well, that’s what happened to me!

Light drives out darkness…

Since leaving the church, applying a lot of work on self and realizing that my past was part of my Spiritual Journey/Awakening; my light has been reignited and I’m able to share it with so many people. It took me 40+ years to realize that my eyes were “WIDE SHUT” but here I am HAPPY and SPREADING LOVE and LIGHT!!!

There’s so much more I need to share but that’ll be another blog on Breaking Generational Curses!  

In closing, Be the light that others need in this cold dark world!

Martin Luther King, Jr. said it best, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that.  Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that. 

Until next time,

~ Elle

FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness is for YOU not THEM!

Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.

Forgiveness does not mean forgetting nor does it mean condoning or excusing the offenses. 

Excerpt taken from What Is Forgiveness ~ greatergood.berkley.edu

I’ve experienced my share of hurt, disappointment, setbacks, and backstabbing! There was a time when I allowed those things to dwell within and cause more pain than necessary. Over the years, I began to truly grasp the concept of forgiveness for SELF and not the offender.

2013-16 my second marriage was unraveling and ended in divorce, a very messy divorce at that!  My ex and I could not see eye to eye and we were going for each other’s jugular. The court proceedings were not fun nor pretty but definitely could have been much worse.  However, being an empath, I chose not to disclose information that could have been a means to an end for him. I just wanted to get this thing over with!

Years after the divorce, we still had issues with communication and “tit for tat” situations. I grew tired of the drama quickly. I was in a new relationship and very happy!  He was in a new relationship and got married!  I just knew that things would improve, as our concentration was on our new relationships (that couldn’t have been further from the truth). I swear this man had it out for me. But I was growing tired of the drama, the “tit for tat” BS, trying to find wrongs in every little thing he did, and reporting stuff to my attorney. Besides, who has money to keep running back and forth to court? So, I decided to let that mess go!  Approximately 2018-2019, I sent him a text, explained where I was wrong, apologized for my wrongs, and forgave him for what I had endured. 

I forgave him for my sanity and well being NOT for him.  Holding onto grudges is DRAINING and I had had enough!  I wasn’t expecting for him to turn around and forgive me…EVER!  

On January 8, 2022, I received a text from my ex, apologizing for his wrongs!  After all these years of turmoil, I was able to rejoice in the fact that he apologized for everything he put me through.  His apology was overwhelming and caused a tsunami of tears.  NEVER had I EVER thought I’d receive an apology…it felt good! I immediately told my son and daughters, as this was major for all of us!  I wanted my children to know that he took a major step by apologizing. It is my hope that they can forgive him as well. But they may need their OWN apology.

~ Elle