MASK

Mask – a covering for all or part of the face, worn as a disguise, or to amuse or terrify other people.

Growing up my eyes were wide SHUT!  They are wide open after tonight!  You never truly know what someone is dealing with on the other side of their mask. Many of us wear masks.  Some of us wear our masks…to disguise the pain, to avoid the truth, to destroy, to draw in those that we wouldn’t normally attract, for gain, and so much more.

Wearing a mask to hide the pain and truth can weigh on an individual. Removing the mask is not an easy task.  After years of hiding behind it, it may be very hard to be vulnerable enough to open up to someone or something that has the potential to hurt you but not the intentions.

~Written November 2019~

Chilombo 3/6 🌋🌋🌋

February 21st sparked my countdown frenzy thanks to Jhené Aiko announcing that she was releasing her third album entitled Chilombo (her last name). She had JUST released a new single P*$$Y Fairy on January 17, along with a video! P*$$Y Fairy is the New Women’s Anthem!!!  Many men are benefitting from P*$$Y Fairy on the daily…TRUST!!!

Not only that, on February 26, she dropped yet another single “Happiness Over Everything” (H.O.E.) featuring Future & Miguel, accompanied by a video.

Jhené DID NOT COME TO PLAY with y’all H.O.E.’s!!!

       Cuz, the very next day, we got yet another announcement about The Magic Hour Tour and yours truly couldn’t wait for those presale tickets to DROP!!!

Let me line this up for y’all, she drops an album exactly 2 months before my birthday, announces a tour where she will be in DC 3 days before my birthday, and YOU KNOW I’m going, right?!!!

Jhené isn’t just a musical genius but a mogul!!! I’m so moved by her growth vocally and spiritually. You can sense the growth throughout Chilombo!!! I’m impressed and in tears. I’m so glad that I became a fan years ago cuz to see her on this side of her journey is everything. But more than that, I’m going to meet her three days before my birthday!!! Here’s to maintaining my composure!!!

Make sure you listen to the album!  I’ll be back to talk about my favorite songs. I’ve been listening to the album since it dropped at midnight! I’m gonna be hella tired…no I’m not thanks to Tropical Smoothie Cafe’s Avocolada with double energizer 🤷🏽‍♀️

#333

Much love and respect

~ Elle

 

 

 

1:39 AM

Tossing and turning

Breaking into a cold sweat

Body ignites and sleep is broken

 Hands fumble upon my phone

Notification illuminates

Glance at the phone to open…

Message read

 I wish I hadn’t woken up

I wish I hadn’t picked up my phone

I wish I were back home

I wish these things would just stop…

Happening

I wish I had the power to take the hurt away

 I wish I could run outside and scream

I wish no one would hear me

I wish I could cry,

But I’m afraid

If I start

I won’t stop!

 

 

 

 

Ascension

What do you do it for? What are you running for? What are you running towards? What are you trying to prove? What do you got to lose? What is the path you choose?

~ Ascension by Jhené Aiko

ascension – the act of rising to an important position or a higher level

To ascend one has to come face to face with SELF and life experiences. Life offers many ups and downs. One must open themselves up to reality, in order to deal with what is really causing the pain or anxiety. One has to dig deep, listen to, and focus on one’s self.  Dedicating this kind of time and energy to discover and possibly face the hurt again. This process may break you but will be worth it in the end.  This journey is not an easy one by any means.  This journey is going to require a lot of effort and hard work. 

 Why would one have to dig in order to ascend?  Getting to the root of the problem is what is going to allow the healing process to begin, hence ascension.

 Letting go of the past or letting go of things/people that no longer serve you along your journey…must go.  Unfortunately, that may mean family members, friendships, significant others, unhealthy thoughts, or anything toxic.

 I’ve lost so much in this life that I’ve gotten to a place where I have begun to feel a numbing sensation. In order to ascend I must allow myself to feel the hurt. I’ll allow it! It’s time to ASCEND!

 

 

 

 

 

Is he really absent?

Being a single parent is EXTREMELY hard!  Sometimes it is a choice other times…NOT SO MUCH.  I’ve been a single mother and it’s not easy. BUT I’ve also had the support of my children’s fathers one way or the other.

I recently saw a meme on either Facebook or Instagram (I can’t remember) and when I saw it the first thing that crossed my mind was, “This is a sad but a true reflection of so many households.”  I continued to scroll without liking because although it is a true reflection of MANY households, it is not MY reality, therefore NO LIKE FROM ME!

Before I get to the main reason for waking up in the middle of the night with this darn meme on my mind and the urge to write…I also know women that are living that meme.  The meme is a true depiction of their past or current situations; whether the father be ordered to pay child support and doesn’t or the father doesn’t pick up his child when he says he will and disappoints the child time and time again, so much so that the child no longer becomes excited because he/she knows disappointment will follow. A woman in this situation may very well like the meme and has every right to do so, as it is her reality.

BUT, there is gonna be that BITTER BITCH that will tag her “Baby Daddy” on that meme because he has moved on and is no longer with her and she’s in her feelings; she’s trying to drag him because she is miserable with herself; or she’s just trying to get a negative reaction from the father.  If this is you, YOU ARE LAME!

Let’s take a look at the definition of absent and absentee parent.  ABSENT – (adjective) not present in a place, at an occasion, or as part of something. Hmmmmmmm! ABSENTEE PARENT – is a parent who either wanders in and out of the child’s life, is inconsistent, one who was an active part of their child’s life before abruptly CEASING (putting an end to) contact, or a parent who has never been involved in the life of their child. HMMMMMMMM!

If a father IS in fact not only paying child support but spending time with his child, is he absent? Mind you, absent means not a part of something.

This goes to those women that are gonna screenshot that meme and send it to their child’s ACTIVE father or tag him on FB or IG:

Sis,

If your child’s father is in his/her life, Sis, he is NOT absent.  No matter how hard you try to make him look bad, Sis, the man is present! LOL!  You are just bitter because he chose to leave, you chased him away, or simply let him go.  But also, SIS, you can’t fault a man if you refuse to let him see his child.  Stop being CHILDISH and making everything about you, SIS! Your child will be better off if you put your bitter ass feelings to the side and allow that father to step up (if he’s willing) and be a father to his child.  There are so many things that we as women cannot show or give our children like their fathers.  Little girls need their daddies to teach them how women should be treated.  Little boys need their daddies to teach them how to be men…WE CAN’T DO THAT! So, Sis, put on your BIG GIRL PANTIES and let that man be a father to his child and stop trying to guilt trip him because YOU in fact are the guilty party! Guilty of keeping your child away from his/her father. Guilty of holding onto the past. Guilty of manipulation. Guilty of being a selfish, evil, bitter HAG! GET OVER YOURSELF!

Sincerely,

~ Elle

Found it!

Say Yes to the Dress or…

My friends and I went to Mary’s Designer Boutique in Annapolis, MD in August 2017.  We were so excited about being together and looking for the perfect dress for the bride to be.  We walked into the boutique and there was a sign that reads, “I said YES to the Dress”.  This made us even more excited and we wiped out our phones and began to snap (Snapchat). We tiptoed toward the dresses and then Mary came over and directed us to our seating area.

This is supposed to be an exciting, fun, and momentous occasion for the bride to be BUT…Mary’s Designer Boutique left much to be desired. Mary, the owner, was very impersonal, inattentive, uninviting, and hurried. Customer service is extremely important to me. My friends and I had a scheduled appointment but felt as if other customers were more important. Mary left our party for another customer and NEVER came back to check on us. She then had her receptionist helping us find dresses etc. The receptionist was CONSTANTLY on her phone. As SOON as she stepped out of the dressing room…ON THE PHONE. She walked over to get another dress and she was hiding between the dresses…ON THE PHONE. THIS WAS A MAJOR PROBLEM! Then Mary told us that every place in the area had the same dresses and we wouldn’t find anything else.

I posted the above on her FB page only to find out that we were not the only people that had a horrible experience at her shop.  Another potential client, Haley (whom I’ve gotten permission to use her review) said the following:

I just had the worst dress shopping experience here. They are very pushy and only care about making the sale. Once we walked in they were rude about how many people I had with me, even though I cleared the number with them at first. Mary claims to be a designer with her “originals” however I ran into an old employee of Marys (worked there for a good amount of time) and she said that she doesn’t even make these dresses and Mary is just a scam artist who puts her own tags on designer dresses. She made me feel uncomfortable in the dressing room since she wanted to be in there the whole time and also got mad at me when I couldn’t tell her exactly what I did and didn’t like about each dress. She also told me was last minute on buying a dress… my wedding is almost 10 months out. Needless to say I left in tears. Mary and her employees are unprofessional, rude, and only care about the sale. Avoid at all costs.

There are many more reviews just like the above on Mary’s Facecbook page.  It’s sad that someone is running a business in such a manner that turns people away.

We DID find a quaint shop just 10 minutes away (Love and Lace) with SUPERB customer service from the time we set foot in the door. I suggest you pass Mary’s Boutique unless you like unsatisfactory customer service and cold shoulders. Even if the bride had found a dress, it wouldn’t have been purchased from Mary’s Bridal Boutique.

Until next time!

~ Elle

The Rih’l Deal

September 8, 2017 the make-up industry changed FOREVER!  Robyn Rihanna Fenty launched her own beauty line via Sephora.  Rihanna took her time with this beauty line and continues to launch different products every so often.  The original launch released my absolute favorite product…INVISIMATTE.  Invisimatte is a blotting powder that is INVISIBLE and works WONDERS (THANKS, Rihanna!).

Let me just tell you how wonderful this product is. My skin is EXTREMELY oily and due to that fact I rarely wear makeup (I actually dislike it).  I have tried Aveda products to eliminate the oil and other natural products to also aide in cutting the amount of oil my skin produces, especially throughout the day.

I purchased my INVISIMATTE on September 8, 2017 and instantly fell in love with it. I have used the product faithfully everyday after my purchase.  The amount of oil my skin produces…reduced significantly.  There were a few days that I forgot to put it on and there was a noticeable difference…the shine was BACK.

THE TRUE TEST

December 31st was the test of all tests!  As I stated previously, my skin is EXTREMELY oily and as a result the amount of shine is insane.  I decided that I HAD to wear my INVISIMATTE blotting powder for New Year’s Eve or else I’d be wiping my face before every picture (embarrassing).  I went through my normal facial regime…I washed my face, blotted some of the water, then applied my lotion, let the lotion soak in and then applied INVISIMATTE to my entire face.  After the INVISIMATTE application, I applied my eyeshadow, foundation (powder), eyeliner,  and finishing spray.

My makeup lasted from 7:30pm until 2:30 am.  I refreshed by simply applying a once over of INVISIMATTE with my Fenty Beauty touch up brush.  I didn’t have to wipe any shine off of my face.  I didn’t feel shiny the entire night and I felt AMAZING!

The next product I MUST try is her foundation. I am afraid but I think it will be worth the try, as INVISIMATTE has already proved to be a GREAT investment.

Thanks Rihanna!

Maintenance

Attention is expensive to pay! I can’t get by on minimum wage! ~ Jhene Aiko https://youtu.be/M8F-H3M3ttw

Relationships can be complex! You have two people from different upbringings, with different life experiences.  Choosing to be in a relationship requires time, devotion, consideration, sacrifice, and will!

When we see someone that sparks our interest or that we think may fit our profile as a potential significant other, we don’t often think about all that goes into maintaining that “INTEREST”.

The calls and texts begin coming in on a regular.  Then the long, late night conversations occur that end with “No, you hang up,” or the falling asleep with each other on the phone just to wake up in the middle of the night to hard breathing, snoring, or a dial tone (throwback).

Courting – to be involved with romantically. Synonyms – set one’s cap for, romance, dating, woo

We court the “love interest” and get them accustomed to spending quality time but then reality sets in. Work, family, friends, bills…just everyday life become factors that change the consistency of courting and often, the person that we sought after must take the back seat.  This can be dangerous territory if not dealt with properly. It’s OH SO important to make sure that the significant other doesn’t remain on the back burner.

Courting an “interest” is what led to the relationship that you are now in.  Maintaining that “interest” (even in marriage) is imperative!  Attention is expensive to pay…is your man or lady worth that wage?

The Right to Choose

*Cue music*

“My way, my way

You can’t satisfy her needs

She keeps runnin’ back to see me do it

My way, my way

What I say goes

And I’m in control”

~ Usher (My Way)

Usher! Usher! USHER! So, you’re in control, huh?  I bet you wish you were in control of this situation that is SPIRALING OUT OF CONTROL!

I’m not going to make light of the situation, as this is nothing to laugh at.  We can all say things like: “Well, the women knew better.” “She (however many “shes” there were) should have requested he use a condom.” OR “We know the risks of unprotected sex.” etc.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!  We’ve all had unprotected sex at one time or another. SO, CUT THE JUDGING!  The thing that sticks out to me, is that he failed to disclose this information to these women. Hence, his way or the highway.

Usher was out here playing God with these women’s lives.  Instead of revealing this information and allowing them to make a choice; he said, “My way…I’m in control”.

They should’ve been given the opportunity to choose…bottom line.  9 times out of 10, had he revealed the truth…all of these women and 1 man wouldn’t be suing him for sexually transmitting an incurable disease.

 “Let’s talk about sex, Baby

Let’s talk about you and me

Let’s talk about all the good things

And the bad things that may be

Let’s talk about sex!”

Salt-N-Pepa (Let’s Talk About Sex)

 

Communication is key! Be safe out there!

FACTS: In the United States, about one out of every six people aged 14 to 49 years has genital herpes.  You contract herpes by having vaginal, anal, or oral sex with someone who has the disease.

 

Girls Trip

Cyndi Lauper said it best, “Girls just want to have fun!”

Girls Trip featuring: Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett-Smith, Regina Hall, and Tiffany Haddish was nothing short of hilarious!  I’ve seen the movie three times and laugh EACH and EVERY time.  Due to the laughter of the crowd…I heard something new each time.  The movie is a feel good, real life comedy about four black women that attended college together.  However, life after graduation has gotten in the way of their quality time.  They are given the opportunity to go on a “Girls Trip” to New Orleans, where they reconnect with one another.  The storyline was realistic yet comical.

For those of you that have not seen the movie, I will not spoil it for you! PROMISE 😊

This morning, my aunt tagged me on a vlog about “Girls Trip”. I watched the vlog and was immediately annoyed by the vloggers opinion.  Now everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I’m just trying to figure out what planet she lives on.

The vlogger stated that “Girls Trip” was a disappointment, disgrace, extremely offensive, raunchy, stereotypical, and unrealistic.

Things I’d like to ask this vlogger:

  1. Do you have any friends?
  2. Are any of your friends black females?
  3. Were you allowed to have fun as a child?
  4. Where did you grow up?
  5. Did you attend college?
  6. Where do you live now?
  7. Does your Mom love you?
  8. Do you need a hug?
  9. Do you even know HOW to laugh?
  10. Did you even go out with your “friends” in college?
  11. Is your husband successful? (I peeped a wedding ring.)
  12. Are you happy in your marriage?
  13. What’s your husband’s ethnic background?
  14. Why is it necessary for a woman to have/keep a man in order to be complete?
  15. Do you attend church? (I know plenty of women just like Dina, Ryan, Sasha, and Lisa that attend church.)
  16. Have you ever needed time away from reality?
  17. Are your panties too tight?
  18. Do you have open conversations with your female “friends”?
  19. Do you EVEN know how to laugh?
  20. Are you in touch with reality?

Again, her opinion is just that…her opinion!  I just DO NOT AGREE!  However, I do understand it (after having an in-depth conversation with my best friend).

Based upon my experience, I know women that exhibit similar qualities and experiences of each character depicted in this movie.  These women, including myself did not ask for these experiences. Living REAL life can throw a monkey wrench in your plans and dreams; it’s all about how you deal with your reality.  As a matter of fact, Tiffany Haddish, who played Dina “The Wild One”, grew up in foster homes.  Tiffany seems to be very street smart, funny, “loud”, but extremely WELL ROUNDED!  Does she fit a stereotype?  I’m sure she does, but her experiences shaped her personality.  I’m shocked that a “black woman” would bash this film.

Now, there is another film similar to “Girls Trip” entitled “Rough Night” (mostly Caucasian cast).  I have not seen this film and will probably just wait until it’s available on On Demand.  I watched the trailer to see how similar that film was to “Girls Trip”.  They are similar in that, a group of women got together for a trip.  However, in “Rough Night” they end up killing a man.  Hmmmmmm!  The stereotype here…THAT PRIVILEGE shows up.  I don’t know the outcome but I’m sure they didn’t get arrested for killing a man. I’d like to hear the vloggers take on “Rough Night” as well.

With all the being said, LIGHTEN UP!  To those that have seen the movie continue to support and take your girlfriends that have not seen it. SUPPORT OUR BLACK SISTERS!  The movie was phenomenal and is sure to be a CLASSIC.  This movie showed that we CAN get along and we CAN be successful! We may not always agree with one another, we may argue, but in the end our love for one another outshines all the drama.  #BlackGirlsRock  #BlackGirlMagic

“When the working day is done

Oh when the working day is done oh girl

Girls, they wanna have fun!”~Cyndi Lauper (Girls Just Want to Have Fun)

Attached is the vlog I referred to. If you haven’t seen the movie…DO NOT WATCH this video, as it is a spoiler. 

https://www.facebook.com/davina.jacksonblack/posts/10209507645480075